stomach flu, dirty laundry and desiring more of Him

This week has really been a mess and the dirty sheets and towels and cleaning up after children, sick ones has been my life. Sweet hubby came home after a two week trip and shared more than his wonderful looks and awesome personality, yes, the dreaded stomach virus. We all went to IHOP, ate like there was no tomorrow, (uh oh 24 day challenge) and in the night it hit him, and i wanted to. No, really, I wanted to. He said it was food poisoning, I knew better...Ever heard of "Reap what you sow"? Well, I ate some crow.

I'm making a confession, I am a terrible nurse, when it comes to a sick husband. I'm great with kids, but I've always had this resentment that he gets to go to bed when sick and I have to do the same thing i always do. So i grumbled and such, and fast forward to Monday morning and I'm no longer able to function. Thankfully I have a husband that is truly full of grace, or at least he is now. He is truly amazing and He took really good care of me and the house. then my son got it and last but not least, the baby of the family, although she is 9, she's the baby. She is still sick, 4 days and counting. So now, I ask forgiveness from God and start over and make sure I take my "in sickness and in health vow "again. Aren't we so blessed that God is a God of do-overs? I know I am.

See, lately, I've been out of sorts, with my quiet time, I mean. And when this happens, I go back to what works, or what really gets me back in the routine. An online Bible Study. I'm reading "Living So That" and it's totally based on scripture. Really diving into God's word, which is the food we need to live in this messy, yucky world, it's His guide to survival, actually to really living the full life He created us for. it's just week one and our first conference call is tonight! I'm so excited! I did one of these for the first time about 3 years ago. My husband had lost his job, we were staring at each other every day and resentment on both sides was building up. But God sent me wonderful sisters, virtual sisters to build me back up and get me walking again and smiling again. Isn't God just like that? First He sent me Jen, from "Finding Heaven". If you haven't read her blog, you must immediately. She has a heart for Jesus like I've never seen. She has had life deal her some yuck, but God has redeemed and restored and she is now writing a book. In fact, her button is at the bottom of my blog, sol de gloria!

Next, He sent me a link to Proverbs 31 ministries, online Bible Study, Wendy Blight was the author. I can't remember the right name for the book but I think it's "Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner". This book taught me how to pray God's word back to Him, to choose a topic that I needed help on, maybe a fruit of the Spirit like patience . Then look up in the reference for verses on patience and put them in prayer form. Changed my life!!! She encouraged me to step out and try new things, and really changed my prayer life. I encourage you to read it, as soon as possible. God may begin to ask you to do things out of your comfort zone but He will equip you to do the task. I know...

Fast forward to another hard time and I picked up the book 1000 gifts and I've never been the same!! I have since read it 5 times, listened to it at least 15 times and have dome 3 book studies on it. Every time I read it, I hear something i missed or maybe I didn't really need it at the time I read it last. Ann Voskamp has an amazing blog too, an amazing writer and Jesus follower, it's called "A Holy Experience". so now, you have a few ideas. And last is Girlfriends Coffee Hour. I got invited on Facebook and accepted. I had no idea that I would become a blogger and writer, all because of a lady that believed in me. She and a few others prayed over my family and broke the chains of spiritual warfare and prayed my husband a job that would finally get us on our feet. I still blog for them, so look them up. And most of all, keep His word close. For weeks like this one, when I couldn't do this on my strength alone, He guides my steps, He gives me courage and joy when I don't think it's possible. My God is the God of Impossible. What is your impossible today? Are you ready to believe He can and will do it for you? Whats stopping you from handing it over? Praying for you today that you can leave it all at His feet, and let Him fill you with all He has to give!

blessings!!!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Today should be a national holiday, I joked with my mom this morning. Although my sister and I might really think so. You see, it's my daddy's birthday. He not only gave me life but he gave me a second chance for a new life. Eternal life. Born again at 8 at a Billy Graham crusade. He took me to church on Sundays. Wednesday and most of all he lived what he told me. He provided for us. I needed nothing. I wanted for nothing. He loved us. Deeply. I could see it on his face when I walked in a room. He's proud of us. And now that I'm a mom I have a whole new appreciation for him. As an adult I put them through storms. I struggled with addiction and so did they with me. He had patience. He never brings up the past. He's given me grace. Forgiveness. Unconditional love. He now gets to do the same for my kids. The legacy continues. They too know his Jesus. They too will live in eternity with Jesus. So today I celebrate this precious man. The awesome memories and the love and lessons I've learned. Here's to more. And here's to always being together. To infinity and beyond!!

When you're questioning everything

I do question why we are allowed to suffer. And I do wonder if Christians should have the abundant life. Until He explained that maybe the abundant life is knowing we are saved. That we are going to Heaven and that He will always be with us and never leave us. 

As I watched the Hiding Place today, and watched Corrie ten Boom still love Jesus in the midst of a concentration camp, I'm forced to look around me. I have a really beautiful life. She lost her father and sister and all she knew. All she had was a Bible and He was enough. I loved what Betsy said , " there's never a pit too deep that His love isn't deeper still". I've been in self made pits and I've been thrown in some and a pit is a pit. The only way out is to praise Him step by step, blessing upon blessing, starting with the first breath you take in the morning. 

It's easy to get caught up in the things we don't have and look around and see what others do have. It's saying that God doesn't know best and we are better at running our own lives than God. We aren't. Are we? Another quote is trusting an unknown future to a known God. Don't you just love how He's given us so many heroes, examples, people who have been through more than we could imagine and they more than conquer. And they've been and still are inspirations to us. We know we WILL MAKE IT. The seasons always change and suddenly God works a miracle. 

So I count blessings and all the ways He loves and I can't help but smile. I really am blessed  and outside the sun is coming up and the waves are slow and steady....

If you feel led to help me or someone else go on this amazing leadership conference let me know in the comment section. 

Catalyst

I'm trying to raise money to go on a leadership conference in Atlanta Georgia in October. I need to pay by sept 18th and I'm believing Him for a miracle and His favor. If you feel led to help please leave a comment. I know God has big things planned for me. He's given me a heart for women's ministry and letting them know how much they're loved and how beautiful they are. Society says one thing. God says another. God bless you and keep praying. Claiming His provision. In His name. 

When you really need to trust God and 21st birthdays

Tomorrow is my oldest daughters 21st birthday. Where did the time go? Yesterday we were playing dollhouse and making Barbie houses. Watching Father of the Bride part 2 and Cinderella. I'm tying your bow for the 50th time to make it even. And wearing your daddy's shoes I'm the prince and you're the princess. 

Fast forward. You're still my princess. You're a gift from God almighty. Everyday I'm reminded of His goodness just looking at you. No one tells you that labor pains continue even after the birth day. They continue when their hearts are broken. When they are rejected. When someone tells them they're not all you've told them they are. Oh how we hit our knees and pray constantly for God to protect them. And hold their hearts close. I've done things different from the norm. I've said more yes than no. When most were going to college, I said yes you can follow Him to ministry school. When God says no, stay where you are and watch me work, together we said YES. and how you sing so beautifully as you lead His people in worship on Sundays. How did we live through all that we have? Losing your childhood home? Moving from all you've known and held close? Watched me battle demons? Seen poverty up close? Because HE LIVES. ..... Because we trust Him with all we are and all we have. Since the day you were born you've been His and I'm so grateful to have God to guide and direct. Where would we be without Him? We will never have to know!!

Happy Birthday Baby. You are my world. I love you. 

P.S.  I'm trying to raise money to go on a ministry retreat with my church. If you feel led to help financially please let me know. Thank you for reading. I am praying for you all. 

Resting In Him

About Benjamin he said: “Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.”
—Deuteronomy 33:12

Today I have every reason to be stressed. To doubt my future and wonder how I will be feeding them this week. But instead I cling to Him. God of the impossible. I pray and trust and claim blessings. And know that I'm taken care of. God, You are Master of the universe. All resources belong to You and You choose how to give them. Bills are due. Yet you will deliver. 

I have so much to be grateful for. Beautiful life full of joy because you have freed me. My purpose is to glorify you. To love you. 

How awesome is it that you carry us and shield us. That we get to rest in you. On You. Oh God. My love for You is endless. My adoration for you is abounding. Why do I ever doubt and why does my faith falter? I get caught up in the "that must be nice" instead of "not our time yet". Yet. He promised that seasons do not last forever. Just as the cool fall breeze gives relief from the summer heat, so You give relief and take us to another more fruitful and abundant season. 

My desire is to desire You over all. To not start my day until I speak to You. To dig into Your word and to be empty of mr only to be filled with You. As I poured out the old wilted flowers and put fresh ones in the vase, I had to empty the yuck brown water and replace it with fresh pure water. So we must empty to fill. 

And I'm filled and I'm overflowing. And the seagulls are flying over and salty sea air blowing in the new. 

18 wake up days and grace

My youngest, km, calls school mornings "wake up days". And we are counting them down. See, my happy little morning sunshine has changed her tune in the mornings and its not so sunshiney if you know what I mean. She loved school last year as it was her first year to not homeschool. And her teacher worshipped her. The center of her world. But not this year and she's not happy.
Aren't we all like that sometimes? We get a little out of sorts when we feel overlooked. Not special. Just another person? But we are so much more than that in the eyes of our Father and He gives us grace beyond measure and its unending. Just like we do our own children except He forgives and forgets. Oh what a blessing. We actually are the ones that overlook Him. Take delight in the world sometimes and forget our purpose. To live a one piece life that represents Him and points to Him. Oh how we forget whats important. My pastor once asked a question. About how when we go on vacation and stay in either a hotel or condo, do you go buy new paint? New bedding? New sofas? None of the above. And why not? Because you're just passing through. Same as here. On this earth. Don't invest in things earthly. Invest only in eternity for this is temporary and He's given us so much beauty to enjoy while we are here. Sun rises and sunsets and oceans and rivers and lakes. Flowers that smell, birds that sing and rain that quenches the green grass that cushions our steps in summer. He could have just plopped us into nothingness but He didn't.
This grace He freely gives we take for granted. Try living a day without it. As we speak He's already set the moon into place while the sun is setting. And I hear the ocean. And I am grateful.