I had a first tonight. I went to a Christmas program at my daughters school and for the first time in my forty something years, not one song was sung about Christmas. No rudolph. no frosty the snowman, no joy to the world, and not one song about a manger, a baby Jesus or mary. Im shocked. See., my first set of children grew up going to private schools. Yes we had to pay a lot but they sang and heard about Jesus. Then life happened and the younger two havent had the life that the older two did. No fun outings,  no parks, no weekend trips. not even a day trip to the mall. See, we might as well live in a third world country. We starve daily, struggle to clothe our kids and unless there is  a miracle we may not have christmas presents this year. As much as i would love to be a mom that says Jesus birth is enough celebration for us, and it is. But my children are accustomed to a santa Christmas, the presents under the tree. Its been way too long since my husband has had a job. It is taking a toll on me and my k,ids. Im so ready to watch him leave in the morning like normal men do and see him again at dinner. I am trying to be patient but im  not sure how much longer i can watch him lay on one end of the couch and flip channels. Im suffereing from not having one minute alone. not one. I tell myself that this is where God wants me or He would change it. However I have no idea His relationship with my husband. I never see him open his bible and I definitely see him watch things on tv that are not what God would want. At this very moment he is watching American Dad. I cant help but wonder if we are struggling because of him not seeking Him. I know where i am weak He is strong. I also know I seek Him 24 hrs a day. I dont even watch tv unless its the 700 club or life today. So please God, please, hear my cry. Please end this suffering, please restore us to living again. I will dedicate the rest of my days to telling the world about you. I want to give my kids a life, a quality life. Not just surviving. I love you Lord. Im never giving up on you.
Satan will never win this battle.In Jesus name,. amen