It was cold outside and I had to stop for gas. Questions running in my mind....am I dressed okay ? No money means no cute clothes and would these women be in yoga pants like me or Miss Me jeans? And how much should I let them know, do I let them see me?
Immediately I am relieved. The pastor's wife was not only beautiful outside, but inside was even more so. She laughed about a popcorn bowl that their youth had made them before they had made the hard journey to planting this church and she didn't speak all King Jamesey. She was real and I loved her.
We watched the video and talked about the book we were reading at the time, I had downloaded on my kindle, so excited about finally connecting with Jesus and Jesus following women, and then we sat in a circle. We held hands and prayed and lifted each one of our requests up to God. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world. Financially we were barely hanging on and I was so tired of the same request not being answered the way I wanted it to. I was so worn out and I felt like I was doing this alone, even in a group of sweet women. She sensed it in her spirit and she comes over and sits right behind me. She puts her hand on my back and begins praying over me and all stress and anxiety begins to fall away, like the tears that were running down my face. She touched my head and shoulders and spoke God's word over me. I have never been the same...
See, I believe that God can touch us through someone else. And a hug or a physical touch can make the strongest walls crumble and someone broken can become whole again when God puts us back together, His way. Stephanie did this for me. Her sweet way that she puts her arms around those women that she leads changes hearts and lives and she encourages other women to do the same...and soon, there are no more walls...just hearts coming together before God. It is beautiful...
And then there's His touch. (I grew up in a wonderful church. And one of my favorite songs was "He touched me". I'm singing it now as I write this.) There was a time in my life that I felt like I would be a failure forever. I had tried so many times to stop the addiction to these pills that numbed the pain and though I knew they were ruining my life and the lives of all those around me I could t stop. the pai was so great. Physically and mentally. Then one Sunday I hit my knees and I felt His hand pulling me up and His voice saying ..."just surrender and I will heal you". And I did. It's been 8 years now and my marriage and my children and my life has been redeemed and restored. I love my life today and I too love to help those still struggling.
Oh, and if you're wondering about the dress code from my group that day? Anything goes! But more often than not, you're going to walk into a whole lot of 'Momentum'shirts, and I love my Church shirts...and a whole lot of love and acceptance...and the sweetest touch from the sweetest woman.
(Stephanie Payne is the wife of Tim Payne, Pastor of Momentum Church, Gulf Breeze, fl and Navarre, Fl. She is a mom of 3 and a mentor to hundreds and a woman of God who loves pouring into women and making sure they know that God loves them.)
