Gratitude

I'm right in the middle of finishing my letter to my mom and I will finish it but I really feel led to talk about being grateful. Because lately I haven't been. I've not liked my life lately. It's not what I would've picked but that's the beauty of being His child I don't have to pick my life. I'm letting Him take the wheel ! I am human and I have been a complainer lately. It all has to do with worldly possessions and money. I find myself saying no God you don't know what's best for us. I over analyze what I'm doing wrong. Am I being punished am I not righteous enough. Of course I'm not righteous enough. Of course I'm doing things wrong. I'm a sinner. But I've been forgiven. Redeemed. Lived by the King. He's my groom. He dances and sings over me. He pulls me out of the pit of despair. He can take my yuck and make it beautiful. So take all my thoughts captive. Replace them with your truth. May You be my first thought and last thought of the day and May I sing for joy just because I'm yours!

Dear mom. (part two)

You were the wife of a insurance salesman. A commission only kind of business and remember the paycheck that was 8$? But your God was and is much bigger than banks and underwriters. And your husband? He got the glory while you waited in the background and you were ok and preferred it that way. And he never hung up his coat. And there were bills and mortgages and private school and gymnastics and piano and you never missed anything. I didn't ever like being away from you. Because no matter what you made me feel important. "But a wise woman knows what powerful men can forget that the way to move Heaven and earth isn't with a strong arm but with a bowed head " I'm sure your head was bowed when we were 5 minutes later than curfew and when the cheer bus was hours late and for who I would marry and my salvation. You lived bowed. First to your God them your husband then your children. And you still had time to be a daughter yourself to the best grandparents ever. How I loved them. Your mom and dad. But you had to learn to parent on your own for your childhood was full of reprimands rather than praises. Yet you praised. Your childhood was not full of hugs and kisses yet you always had open arms and a lap for me to sit on. And could family vacations be anymore fun and full of humor? When I brought all dirty clothes?

1000 moms project and sdg

Ann Voskamp has a challenge on her blog called the 1000 moms project. You write a lettter to your mom on your blog, link with her and money is donated to the project that helps moms and babies in Haiti. So what more of a way to honor all my mom has done and is doing than by typing her a simple letter to tell her just how important she is. I am not an eloquent writer but mama doesnt care. She loves a homemade project and gift.
Dear Mom,
Where do I begin. You gave up your life for me, September 25, 1967 a really long hard labor in a airforce hospital in columbus ,ms. yielded a baby girl around 6 lbs, 6 ounces. I came out screaming and screamed and screamed. I was an attention hog from that day on. You were so young, a mere 22 year old child yourself, in a city away from family and friends, you chose to be a mother and a wife first. (actually you were a daughter of the King first)And I didnt make it easy and we had mny long days and nights together as we became aquainted with one another. God was developing patience in you for sure,"Everything beautiful always begins with a willingness to suffer" (thanks Ann Voskamp)and as a mother there is much suffering and it begins with labor, then you become last on a long list to get your needs taken care of.

somehow you managed to make hot chocoloate chip cookies, applesasuce muffins,warm chocolate pie, one with the topping and one without, we just couldnt be easy, right? Homecooked meals began and ended our days. I knew how important i was to you and still do. My favorite time of day was coming in the house after school and seeing you in the kitchen chair with a yummy snack that you hand made. I was the most important person in the room,you wanted every detail of my day, and i never asked about yours and that was ok with you. i guess i was an attention hog all along. You laughed at my jokes even though they werent funny and answered my ridiculous questions with a straight face like was i going to jail for throwing a banana peel out the window on the highway? and was a truck going to slip on it and wreck? i just knew they would find me.You were the audience for ou plays and dances and cheers etc. part one

Recipes and life.

When my grandmother died a few years ago she left me her recipes. Along with many memories and love and a relationship with Jesus Christ. I pulled the brown wooden boxes out today and realized they were completely out of order. Appetizers and chicken and vegetable dishes all in random places and really hard to put my finger on when needed. Kind of how life can be. Completely out of order. Chaos. No flow whatsoever. As i I began placing the right ones behind the right label I realized that it's just that simple to get my life in order. That I just need to place Jesus in front of all the rest and it will all fall into place and chaos becomes order and life flows again with a rhythm that only He can orchestrate. Praise always precedes the miracle. So I praise Him and ask Him to step in first and I go along the rest of today knowing He's got this.

If faith can move mountains

Today my faith was tested. Hour by hour minute by minute ! My precious mom better known as mama was admitted to the hospital. She's really ill and I'm really afraid of losing her. What we thought was simple became complicated in a matter of seconds. The chest X-ray ruined it all. Her bloodworm was another story. White count really low and now there's a bone marrow biopsy scheduled for tomorrow. Another day of nervous stomach and questions maybe answered and my life is changed forever. The results can change it all. Our cozy little set up. Not perfect but not awful either. God please work your miracles. Please.