I wake up to Joyce Meyer on the tv and a cloud over the day. What is wrong with me? Why can't I get it right? Why do I let the enemy talk lies in my head and I believe him? Could be the dishes in the sink or the mounds of unfinished laundry or that I wake the kids up too late to pray with them before school; I just just plain don't have it together. The electric bill barely got pd and it was two months worth. There's a couple of dollars left in my wallet that has to last for a week and my medicine alone costs 11$ a day. How can I face a day like this and just remember to breathe. I practice giving thanks for this messiness and I praise Him to show I trust Him and I count blessings or I would crawl in a hole or not come out. For we serve a good God and all He gives is good. Lam 3;21 is my hope for today and tomorrow. His mercies are new every morning. And I want to enjoy these moments. The thing about moments is they fly by whether you waste them or embrace them. I will never have this day again. My children will not always be under my roof. I want to have the abundant joy filled life and whatever it takes I'm willing to do. Simply seek Him with all my heart and I will find Him. I will give Him my all and He is enough to satisfy. He won't leave us or forsake us and His plan is to prosper us and give us His riches. I surrender all and it is well are my songs today and I get to dwell in His house forever. Amen.

Grace for today, hope for tomorrow

So today was supposed to be a start over day. Today I was going to get up earlier, pray longer, be more honest, forgive myself, make important phone calls, rededicated myself to all these jobs I have half way done, memorize more scripture and the list goes on. ......,

So to be honest? I was lazy in my mind. I let stresses of this world paralyze me and keep me from being productive. God doesn't expect from me all that I expect from myself. I'm really praying and listening to what is expected. And for now I know I'm supposed to seek Him first and put my agenda last. Die to self and dive into His word so that I will always know what He expects. To replace my desires with His. And to practice gratitude in these uncertain times. Times that I just know I could write my story much better. That I speak ugly words about and to myself about myself like " why can't you ever just clean up this clutter? Or why can't I just be a better mother ?" Or a better homeschooler? More supportive wife? " and the list goes on. But it's my list, not Gods... He wants me to do one thing well... Seek Him with all my heart and soul and all things will fall into place as I fall into Him.

Isn't that all He wants? Trust in trials. Trust His sovereignty in situations and know that a good God only gives good.

Tonight I will thank Him for His unconditional love for me and praise Him for the " not yet " answers. He's preparing something big I know. Joy comes in the morning. And after the mourning. And peace like a river floods. He makes all things new.

New Year. New Word

It's been way too long since I've posted anything and I'm convicted. God has been whispering to me to continue telling my story. Of how I'm not perfect and how much of a mess I am and how He can use my mess for His ministry. There was so much I failed at. So many things I didn't do. Like lose the weight, get healthy , school better, family devotions every night. It's not about that though. Grace.

And this year 2013 I'm committed to place my life IN HIM. IN being the key word. Trust IN HIM. Ann Voskamp over at Aholyexperience.com has a new word every year. So I copied her and I'm also committed to learning scripture. For reading what He has written for me will help me become more like Him and draw me to Him. And if I carry Him with me everywhere by always having His words in my heart and mind then I'm always leaning INto Him. What a friend I have in Jesus. Right? Also I'm blogging for a ministry. Here's a link if you want to read it. http://girlfriendscoffeehour.com/2013/01/04/gch_vh-lifes-healing-choices-gear-up/

Here's to a new year. Of thanking Him for a thousand things that he's done and given me. Not looking back with regret but moving forward with renewed hope and faith. And new chances with my children and husband.
His mercies are new every morning.
And the moon is gorgeous tonight.