5 years ago last month, God literally picked us up from our comfort zone, (which had begun to feel uncomfortable), and put us here, where we are...away from friends and family, to heal as a family. I don't believe I ever would've left Mississippi, I know I wouldn't have left my parents. But I did and oh how grateful I am...oh the blessings I have seen and the stories of complete deliverance I have. I shudder to think...what if I had not listened and obeyed and moved.
Now, as I look at the lights on the tree, and yes, even though we are two kids less, I feel a joy and peace and I smile and thank Him. He moved so many to bless us as a family, so many prayed for us and gave unselfishly to us in a time of need...that I now worry about nothing. For if He is all I have, I am good.
He has promised to never burden us...
He has promised to never break us...
And He will never leave us.
Just like Abraham, I left Ur and HE led us to our own Canaan. He continues to amaze me. So as a gift back to Him, this Christmas season, I will slow down to take it all in. This is the first one that I don't have a believer in the man in the red suit. I didn't know that last year was the last year..I think I might have enjoyed it a little more.
I hope you will feel contentment where you are. I pray you enjoy each moment He gives. He is good and all He gives is good. Life is a gift...He is a gift, the greatest gift of all...
P.S.- I totally recommend Ann Voskamp's good, The Greatest Gift. What a blessing to have your eyes opened to how this season is supposed to be! Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 5, 2015
Monday, October 26, 2015
He Knew...Me
Galatians 5:1
"Christ has liberated us to be free. Stand firm then and don’t submit again to a yoke of slavery."
Funny...that word "again" in that verse. It's like He knows that we were once slaves to something. Oh, but you say, "I've never been a slave to anyone or anything!" Really?
Think about that for a moment, will you? I was once a slave to low self esteem. I can remember sitting in a pew at church and looking around me, seeing all the women that I wished I could be. Either they were prettier or smaller, or richer, or had more children. Maybe they had the perfect house or the perfect husband. I couldn't really know. All I knew was that I didn't want to be me...well, if I could pick and choose the parts that I wanted to keep?
I had a good husband with a good job. I had two beautiful girls that I loved more than life and a house in a neighborhood where I had always wanted to live. How much more did I need? And most of all, more important than anything else, I had a God who loved me and created me all for His pleasure. Because He wanted to be with me. He wanted to spend time with me. He created me to be exactly who I am and He gave me this best life that was just for me.
Sp when those lies of the enemy are louder than His, turn the volume down on the world. Unplug and reconnect to the Source that gives life to every part of your soul. God! I'm reminded that He likes the way that I place the playing before the picking up and that loving little ones always came before laundry. He thought the cardboard Barbie house that I made with my oldest was pretty spectacular and so did she.
He was impressed when I gave up my control over my life, after so many times of trying to get free from strongholds and was so overjoyed when I put Him before it all again. No matter how far I went away, He never moved and never will. Jesus is the answer to everything and our Creator gave Him to us and forever and ever we are His.
Are you struggling today? Do you know that God knew exactly who you would be today when He created you and He went through with it,? There is nothing about you that He doesn't know. So today, pray to accept yourself for you. Ask God to help you love yourself again. I used to ask my baby girl who was the most awesome kid in her class was and her answer was alway "me silly!" like who else would it be? that is how we should answer that same question...love yourself, love yourself, accept yourself and thank God for making you YOU!
Let us pray: Dear God, thank You so much for creating each one of us for a purpose. Each season may bring different things but You are not surprised by any of it. You know our personalities and You embrace all of us. Oh Lord, help us to do the same. Help us to love ourselves and to accept all of the things that make us who we are. I pray that you will search each one of us often and reveal those things that we need to work on and confess to You. Forgive us Lord for comparing ourselves to others and for doubting Your sovereignty. We love You and praise You. And for those today who are so full of hurt and regret, help them to find forgiveness for themselves. For You sent Jesus to die for it all.
Hear us Lord, In jesus name, amen
"Christ has liberated us to be free. Stand firm then and don’t submit again to a yoke of slavery."
Funny...that word "again" in that verse. It's like He knows that we were once slaves to something. Oh, but you say, "I've never been a slave to anyone or anything!" Really?
Think about that for a moment, will you? I was once a slave to low self esteem. I can remember sitting in a pew at church and looking around me, seeing all the women that I wished I could be. Either they were prettier or smaller, or richer, or had more children. Maybe they had the perfect house or the perfect husband. I couldn't really know. All I knew was that I didn't want to be me...well, if I could pick and choose the parts that I wanted to keep?
I had a good husband with a good job. I had two beautiful girls that I loved more than life and a house in a neighborhood where I had always wanted to live. How much more did I need? And most of all, more important than anything else, I had a God who loved me and created me all for His pleasure. Because He wanted to be with me. He wanted to spend time with me. He created me to be exactly who I am and He gave me this best life that was just for me.
Sp when those lies of the enemy are louder than His, turn the volume down on the world. Unplug and reconnect to the Source that gives life to every part of your soul. God! I'm reminded that He likes the way that I place the playing before the picking up and that loving little ones always came before laundry. He thought the cardboard Barbie house that I made with my oldest was pretty spectacular and so did she.
He was impressed when I gave up my control over my life, after so many times of trying to get free from strongholds and was so overjoyed when I put Him before it all again. No matter how far I went away, He never moved and never will. Jesus is the answer to everything and our Creator gave Him to us and forever and ever we are His.
Are you struggling today? Do you know that God knew exactly who you would be today when He created you and He went through with it,? There is nothing about you that He doesn't know. So today, pray to accept yourself for you. Ask God to help you love yourself again. I used to ask my baby girl who was the most awesome kid in her class was and her answer was alway "me silly!" like who else would it be? that is how we should answer that same question...love yourself, love yourself, accept yourself and thank God for making you YOU!
Let us pray: Dear God, thank You so much for creating each one of us for a purpose. Each season may bring different things but You are not surprised by any of it. You know our personalities and You embrace all of us. Oh Lord, help us to do the same. Help us to love ourselves and to accept all of the things that make us who we are. I pray that you will search each one of us often and reveal those things that we need to work on and confess to You. Forgive us Lord for comparing ourselves to others and for doubting Your sovereignty. We love You and praise You. And for those today who are so full of hurt and regret, help them to find forgiveness for themselves. For You sent Jesus to die for it all.
Hear us Lord, In jesus name, amen
Monday, July 27, 2015
Time...
Ecclesiastes 3New Living Translation (NLT)A Time for Everything
3 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven. 2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. 3 A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. 5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. 6 A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7 A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. 8 A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.
9 What do people really get for all their hard work? 10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. 11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. 12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 13 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.
I read the other day that we will have about 18 summers with our children and I shed tears..I think some of those tears are from regret, maybe not making them as memorable as I should have, some tears are out of guilt, not taking them to amazing places so that they could write the most awesome story on the first day of school, and some tears are just plain sadness because time really did go too fast.
I look back on that day in May, the one that I kept looking at my watch, knowing any moment that black car would pull in my driveway and claim her rightful parking place. She would unload all her belongings and we would unpack those later...let's just enjoy ourselves right now. And we have. But now it's time to start repacking and making those lists again. But at the top of this list I will put..1) God...and really let Him make all these plans this time. He is so trustworthy and loves us so much that I know that I can place her in His arms and know all will be okay. Yes, there will be hard and there will be grace for it but it is all good because HE is good.
So for now, I will enjoy the fruits of my labor. I will start my day giving it all to Him and I will rest in the Author of this story because He is much better at this than I. Time is right where it is supposed to be...and so are we.
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Thursday, June 4, 2015
Run From-Run To
I remember running as fast as I could...not looking back to see who was behind me or beside me. I wanted to win. I was in the fifth grade and my daddy was cheering me on, running beside me from the sidelines. Fast forward some 30 something years and I look back on the race thus far and I can see that my Heavenly Daddy has been doing the same thing, cheering me on. Oh I ran from, ran to and ran in circles and they all have the same finish line...eternity.
I ran from my life to painkillers that numbed for a while. Then praise the Lord, I ran back to Him. Now I spend my days running in the direction of His voice. I run to my children when they call and I say as many yes's as possible. I run to my husband when he calls and I love him and serve him and let him know just how much he means to me. I run to my Savior for rest and shelter from this hard world and when I stay there long enough and spend time getting to really know Him, I am equipped for whatever may come my way.
So I am no longer tempted to run away...no, I only want to run to and be a part of this thing called life. It is a gift..full of grace and love and Jesus!
I ran from my life to painkillers that numbed for a while. Then praise the Lord, I ran back to Him. Now I spend my days running in the direction of His voice. I run to my children when they call and I say as many yes's as possible. I run to my husband when he calls and I love him and serve him and let him know just how much he means to me. I run to my Savior for rest and shelter from this hard world and when I stay there long enough and spend time getting to really know Him, I am equipped for whatever may come my way.
So I am no longer tempted to run away...no, I only want to run to and be a part of this thing called life. It is a gift..full of grace and love and Jesus!
Thursday, February 26, 2015
The Power of Touch (#livefree Thursday )
It was cold outside and I had to stop for gas. Questions running in my mind....am I dressed okay ? No money means no cute clothes and would these women be in yoga pants like me or Miss Me jeans? And how much should I let them know, do I let them see me?
Immediately I am relieved. The pastor's wife was not only beautiful outside, but inside was even more so. She laughed about a popcorn bowl that their youth had made them before they had made the hard journey to planting this church and she didn't speak all King Jamesey. She was real and I loved her.
We watched the video and talked about the book we were reading at the time, I had downloaded on my kindle, so excited about finally connecting with Jesus and Jesus following women, and then we sat in a circle. We held hands and prayed and lifted each one of our requests up to God. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world. Financially we were barely hanging on and I was so tired of the same request not being answered the way I wanted it to. I was so worn out and I felt like I was doing this alone, even in a group of sweet women. She sensed it in her spirit and she comes over and sits right behind me. She puts her hand on my back and begins praying over me and all stress and anxiety begins to fall away, like the tears that were running down my face. She touched my head and shoulders and spoke God's word over me. I have never been the same...
See, I believe that God can touch us through someone else. And a hug or a physical touch can make the strongest walls crumble and someone broken can become whole again when God puts us back together, His way. Stephanie did this for me. Her sweet way that she puts her arms around those women that she leads changes hearts and lives and she encourages other women to do the same...and soon, there are no more walls...just hearts coming together before God. It is beautiful...
And then there's His touch. (I grew up in a wonderful church. And one of my favorite songs was "He touched me". I'm singing it now as I write this.) There was a time in my life that I felt like I would be a failure forever. I had tried so many times to stop the addiction to these pills that numbed the pain and though I knew they were ruining my life and the lives of all those around me I could t stop. the pai was so great. Physically and mentally. Then one Sunday I hit my knees and I felt His hand pulling me up and His voice saying ..."just surrender and I will heal you". And I did. It's been 8 years now and my marriage and my children and my life has been redeemed and restored. I love my life today and I too love to help those still struggling.
Oh, and if you're wondering about the dress code from my group that day? Anything goes! But more often than not, you're going to walk into a whole lot of 'Momentum'shirts, and I love my Church shirts...and a whole lot of love and acceptance...and the sweetest touch from the sweetest woman.
(Stephanie Payne is the wife of Tim Payne, Pastor of Momentum Church, Gulf Breeze, fl and Navarre, Fl. She is a mom of 3 and a mentor to hundreds and a woman of God who loves pouring into women and making sure they know that God loves them.)
Immediately I am relieved. The pastor's wife was not only beautiful outside, but inside was even more so. She laughed about a popcorn bowl that their youth had made them before they had made the hard journey to planting this church and she didn't speak all King Jamesey. She was real and I loved her.
We watched the video and talked about the book we were reading at the time, I had downloaded on my kindle, so excited about finally connecting with Jesus and Jesus following women, and then we sat in a circle. We held hands and prayed and lifted each one of our requests up to God. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world. Financially we were barely hanging on and I was so tired of the same request not being answered the way I wanted it to. I was so worn out and I felt like I was doing this alone, even in a group of sweet women. She sensed it in her spirit and she comes over and sits right behind me. She puts her hand on my back and begins praying over me and all stress and anxiety begins to fall away, like the tears that were running down my face. She touched my head and shoulders and spoke God's word over me. I have never been the same...
See, I believe that God can touch us through someone else. And a hug or a physical touch can make the strongest walls crumble and someone broken can become whole again when God puts us back together, His way. Stephanie did this for me. Her sweet way that she puts her arms around those women that she leads changes hearts and lives and she encourages other women to do the same...and soon, there are no more walls...just hearts coming together before God. It is beautiful...
And then there's His touch. (I grew up in a wonderful church. And one of my favorite songs was "He touched me". I'm singing it now as I write this.) There was a time in my life that I felt like I would be a failure forever. I had tried so many times to stop the addiction to these pills that numbed the pain and though I knew they were ruining my life and the lives of all those around me I could t stop. the pai was so great. Physically and mentally. Then one Sunday I hit my knees and I felt His hand pulling me up and His voice saying ..."just surrender and I will heal you". And I did. It's been 8 years now and my marriage and my children and my life has been redeemed and restored. I love my life today and I too love to help those still struggling.
Oh, and if you're wondering about the dress code from my group that day? Anything goes! But more often than not, you're going to walk into a whole lot of 'Momentum'shirts, and I love my Church shirts...and a whole lot of love and acceptance...and the sweetest touch from the sweetest woman.
(Stephanie Payne is the wife of Tim Payne, Pastor of Momentum Church, Gulf Breeze, fl and Navarre, Fl. She is a mom of 3 and a mentor to hundreds and a woman of God who loves pouring into women and making sure they know that God loves them.)
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